Pricing
You Spend More on Dumb Shit Every Month.
At least this expense is supposed to help your business.
Christmas Specials — Enroll by December 31, 2026
Pay quarterly and lock in a lower monthly rate for as long as you keep your qualifying active subscription. Skye approved the savings. Tim's handling the websites.
Christmas rate locked in for lifeWebsite Only
Santa Called. Your Website's Getting an Upgrade.
Get a damn good business website for $99/month when you pay quarterly. That's $297 every three months — and your Christmas rate stays locked in for life.
Billed $297 every 3 months
Save $90 per quarter
A clean, fast, mobile-friendly website that gets your business found and turns visitors into leads.
- Mobile-friendly business website
- On-site SEO
- Website hosting
- Website updates
- Website inquiries texted to the business owner
Enroll by December 31, 2026. Your promotional quarterly rate stays locked in for as long as you maintain your qualifying active subscription, subject to the final published promotional terms.
The Called Tim Package
Website + Reputation
Even Santa Knows You Should've Called Tim.
Get the website, the follow-up, and the reputation tools for $247/month when you pay quarterly. That's $741 every three months — with your Christmas rate locked in for life.
Billed $741 every 3 months
Save $150 per quarter
Everything in Website Only, plus the systems that turn happy customers into reviews and keep leads from slipping away.
- Everything in Website Only
- Instant lead text-back
- Missed-call text-back
- Automated review requests to real customers
- One-time review reactivation
Enroll by December 31, 2026. Your promotional quarterly rate stays locked in for as long as you maintain your qualifying active subscription, subject to the final published promotional terms.
Optional Add-Ons
Want a Little More Bite?
Your website can do more than sit there looking pretty. Give it a few extra tricks with optional D.O.G. upgrades.
Talking Website
+$99/month
Your website finally talks back. In a good way.
Imagine someone visiting your website at 10:30 at night. They have questions, but you're home watching TV, not answering the phone. Your Talking Website can help them get answers, explore your services, and take the next step — without waiting for you to be available.
What Your Talking Website Can Do
- Answer common questions about your business and services using configured business information
- Help visitors explore your services and find what they're looking for
- Collect contact information from interested visitors
- Help turn website conversations into lead opportunities
- Assist with appointment scheduling when a compatible calendar and integrations are configured
- Provide conversational assistance outside normal business hours
Features depend on your business information and connected systems. Appointment assistance requires calendar configuration. Talking Website does not guarantee leads, appointments, or sales.
Skye can't answer your website visitors herself. She's busy supervising Tim.
Google Business Profile Management
+$229/month
Google Maps shouldn't treat your business like it's hiding from the law.
- Initial Google Business Profile audit and optimization
- Ongoing profile updates and maintenance
- Regular Google Business Profile posts
- Review monitoring and response assistance
- Business photo and content updates
- Monthly Google Maps geo-grid ranking report
- Monthly performance summary and recommendations
The monthly geo-grid ranking report is a planned package inclusion; the reporting software and delivery workflow are still being verified. No specific rankings, map positions, traffic, or results are guaranteed. Automated review requests are part of The Called Tim Package, not this add-on.
Not sure which plan fits? Start with a free business audit and Tim will help you figure out what your business actually needs.